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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29112996">Miles away</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlueschEinhorn/pseuds/PlueschEinhorn'>PlueschEinhorn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>When Emotions ride a Roller Coaster [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Black Clover - Tabata Yuki (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Afraid of Loosing, Alcohol, Friendship, M/M, Secret Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:36:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,421</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29112996</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlueschEinhorn/pseuds/PlueschEinhorn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Magna failed and returned from the Heart Kingdom to Clover … He questions him, his abilities and also his relationship with Luck.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Magna Swing &amp; Zora Ideale, Magna Swing/Luck Voltia, Vanessa Enoteca &amp; Magna Swing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>When Emotions ride a Roller Coaster [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2098473</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Miles away</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the evening before they would begin to train at the Heart Kingdom when Magna brought Luck into his room and invited him to stay the night with him. This might be the last evening they could spend alone together, and he hoped the blonde would appreciate it. He cleared his throat and began to talk.</p><p>“Hope ya know what a great honor it is to spend the night in my room with me.” He tried to sound cool, but while taking off his sunglasses he spied on Luck through the corner of his eyes. The fire mage hoped he wouldn’t notice any of his uncertainty.</p><p>“I can’t say no while you almost beg on me,” Luck laughed amused while looking around. Magna sighed, but didn’t complain about this comment. He was right at some point after all.</p><p> </p><p>Magna ran a hand though his unstyled hair and began to think about when this all started … He remembered it was one night when they both were together on a job to help rebuilding the Clover Kingdom. It made no sense to continue in the dark, so they decided to go to sleep … Well, this is what the plan was.</p><p>
  <em>He was awake again in less than an hour. It was no problem there was no house left they could stay at night because of all the destruction. Magna could deal with camping outside and Luck also wasn’t complaining about that. There wasn’t the problem, Magna had no idea why he woke up … Until he was sure to perceive what might be the reason. He heard a slight sobbing and turned a little bit surprised to Luck. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Luck lay on the ground and just looked straight to the stars in the sky while some tears were running down his face almost in silence. When he realized Magna noticed his crying, he immediately wiped them away and tried to hide his desperate smile. But Luck couldn’t prevent that Magna had lay down next to him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What’s wrong?” He asked worried, but Luck just shook his head. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Nothing you should care about.” Luck felt his tears coming back again and wanted to stand up and go away. He didn’t want Magna to deal with his strange feelings … And he didn’t expect he would stop him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It’s because of this reincarnation spell, right?” Magna hold him by the hand and tried to comfort him. It almost broke his heart to see Luck suffer. He just knew it was like that und wanted to stop it. “I know … No, we all know it wasn’t ya fault. It wasn’t you who almost kill-” Magna stopped, he was sure this wasn’t the way he should go. “What I want to say … We’re still friends an’ will always be, got it?” He saw Luck nodding silent, but not without some upcoming tears. “Come here, dude.” Magna felt that Luck might need a hug, the other one back then also helped. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Once again it made him stop crying. Magna was glad, but he still felt Luck was shivering in his arms. He tried to warm him up, his element was fire and this shouldn’t be a big deal. But before he could do anything, he suddenly noticed Luck’s face right in front of his own … His eyes were closed and their noses were almost touching. Magna’s cheeks were red at once and before he could ask what was going on, he felt the lips of his best friend on his own. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Magna was like frozen when he was overwhelmed by this crazy unknown, but soft touch he had never felt before in his entire life. He wasn’t able to think of anything else than this warm feeling that was coming up inside of him … It wasn’t like a completely new experience, rather it was almost like those moments when he would love to never let him go again … Only much more intense. Magna himself hadn’t thought much about it before, but at that moment … It was the best thing that ever happened to him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The fire mage began to return the kiss. He was careful at the beginning, but when their tongues finally touched, he couldn’t hold back any longer. His kisses become more passionate, with the need for more. Luck didn’t mind, the opposite seemed to be the case. He went wild, tugged at Magna’s jacket as if to tear it off him. It didn’t bother him, Magna wanted to be even closer to him. He wished to hold him tight, but when he was about to place his hands at Luck, the whole thing came to an abrupt end. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Ouch!” He fell back when Luck released his lightning magic and pushed him away. Magna got up immediately and looked at him irritated. As if he had to understand what they had just done first … </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“D-don’t touch me …” Luck had backed away far from him and it seemed like he wanted to intimidate him. As if he wanted to look ready to fight … </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“’Ya fuckin’ serious …?” He clenched his fists in frustration, but most of all it hurt deep inside. “Are you kidding me?! You’ve started this, asshole!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yes, and that’s why you have to stay away from me …” </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Magna didn’t understand at first, but when he noticed Luck’s broken smile together with his fearful eyes he realized the problem … And began to feel weird by himself at first. He and his best friend just … did things they should never have dared to do. This kind of connection was only allowed between a man and a woman … But they were both men. How unmanly … </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Magna tried to think what society expected from everyone … But he failed. It did hurt too much to see these feelings as a mistake. Of course he always thought he liked girls … Only just because it was normal, what every man should do. But Magna couldn’t fight the fact he had stronger feelings for Luck … And didn’t want to erase them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You don’t have to worry, Luck.” Magna began to accept these feelings and tried his best to calm Luck down. He was sure the blonde was just afraid, or course he was. It was no secret what most people would like to do with humans like them … “Everything’s fine.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“H-how can you say that …?” Luck glared at him in disbelief, but his glance got more and more panicked when Magna came nearer. “I … understand if you don’t want to be my … friend anymore … B-but please …” Luck tried to back away, but then he tripped over some small debris and was about to fall. A mistake he would never make normally … “… H-huh?” When Magna caught him immediately, he let out some sparks out of surprise. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Dammit …” Magna’s sunglasses were completely ruined, once again. But he didn’t care much about it at this point. “See? Nothin’ will happen to you.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You … don’t think I’m disgusting?” Luck was surprised and more confident again when Magna placed a soft kiss on his forehead. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Not at all. Or do ya think I am?” Magna began to hug him once again and wasn’t mad that he got no answer. They didn’t need any words about their feelings right now. “That’s our secret, just you an’ me.” Finally he got to see Luck’s precious smile again. A real smile that came with all his heart. </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Magna, how long do you want to stand there like stupid?” The fire mage was torn from his thoughts when Luck asked him that. Magna noticed his guest had already made himself comfortable on the bed and was waiting for him.</p><p>“I’d just to think ‘bout something.” He sighed and made his way to him. When he was about to sit down and placed his hand on the bed, Luck’s fingers gently touched it. Magna blushed by surprise and looked at his wide smile, but one second later it was like he knew exactly what will happen next. “Uaaaaaaah!” He got electroshocked by Luck who began to laugh amused. “W-what the fucking hell was that for?!”</p><p>“Uh, didn’t you say we have to be quiet that no one notices us?” Luck put a finger on his lips. “You should stop yelling, don’t you?”</p><p>“Tse.” Magna rolled his eyes when he saw this teasing smile and lay down on the bed next to him. He reached for his blanket and covered them both. “Whatever. We should get some sleep, we’ve to get up early tomorrow.” Luck nodded and snuggled up to him a little. That gesture reminded Magna of that night again … After they both realized and admitted their feelings for each other, they spend the night cuddling side by side. It was like a miracle that none of these villagers had seen or heard anything … Thanks God. Magna didn’t want to imagine what could have happened in that case … Well, even at this point they haven’t done anything other than kissing or cuddling … But that would be enough to arouse the contempt of others. So they had to continue being careful … But right now Magna didn’t want to think about it. “Good night.”</p><p>“Hm …” He put an arm around Luck and enjoyed his company. And hoped they could stay like this, even in the Heart Kingdom … Even if they won’t have time for moments like this. As long as they weren’t completely separated from each other, everything was fine. Magna would prove that there was no mistake in sending him there too. It just had to be like that …</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>„Fuckin‘ bullshit …“ Magna didn’t want to admit it at first, but he screwed up. He should have known better … That he wasn’t good enough to train at the Heart Kingdom. Or at least hadn’t enough mana … It felt the same to him … He had failed.</p><p>He had made a fool of himself. In front of that Spirit Guardian, in front of Asta … Also in front of Luck. And those words Luck said when Magna rushed away … Magna didn’t want to think about it anymore. He wanted to stop thinking about anything.</p><p>Everyone will know he’s a failure. The other mages that were able to create runes … It seems he was the only there one who couldn’t. And the rest of his Squad that stayed at Clover will learn about it … And of course also Captain Yami will get to know it.</p><p>Magna was immeasurably ashamed. He was the one who almost begged at their leader that he allows him to enter the training at the Heart Kingdom … And then he failed and ran away. Also forced Finral to create a portal to the base immediately. And once he was there, he had nothing better to do than to drown his grief in alcohol … Everyone will be even more disappointed in him. Captain Yami, the leader he admires … And of course Luck, the one he loves.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Magna …” Vanessa was sitting next to him and also had a few drinks. But it was no fun this time … “That doesn’t make any sense. So please, stop drinking and go to bed.” She would never have thought to say something like that ever … But it was appropriating in this situation.</p><p>“Shut up an’ jus’ lemme go …” Magna was totally drunk and wanted to be left alone. He was at first, but after a while some of his comrades came back from their training … It wasn’t Magna’s plan to drink that much. He just wanted a little bit, because he thought it would help to forget … But when Vanessa entered the base and saw him, she was so surprised and started to ask questions at once … It was too much for him. He didn’t want to talk about it … He didn’t want to be reminded of it, this feeling of failure.</p><p>“Whatever happened there … Do you really think <em>this </em>will change anything?” Vanessa sighed and didn’t know what to do. Magna might not tell anything in detail, but she could guess. Most likely he couldn’t keep up with the others at the Heart Kingdom and returned in frustration back here … And since he kept mentioning Luck in his drunken banter, maybe also a little bit heartbroken.</p><p>“Won’t lose him, nor against him,” he babbled almost crying. Vanessa felt so sorry for him … She and also Finral knew about the secret relationship of Magna and Luck, but she had no idea how to cheer him up. It was a promise between her and Finral not to tell or say anything about that, until these boys come out of the closet … And she also didn’t know if her support would help in this situation. She didn’t want to confuse, or in worst case frighten him with the fact she knew about them … And he was so drunk that she had no idea how he would react …</p><p> </p><p>“Stop to behave like a crybaby, damn it!” Vanessa was about to have enough. Although she felt sorry for him, she couldn’t stand this whining any longer. “Go train or whatever if you really hate this loss … But don’t let yourself go like this!” She tried to grab him and get him into his room, even if she would have to carry him … But Magna got up and slapped her hands away.</p><p>“Keep ya hands off me … Bitch …!” He swayed and would have toppled at any moment, but then Gauche grabbed him.</p><p>“That’s enough, you annoying punk.” He dragged him towards the stairs. “Your outrageous words bother me thinking about a perfect gift for my dear beloved sister Marie.”</p><p>“Nonsense,” Magna began to grumble. He had become really silent after that … But when they were almost up the stairs, there were distinct noises of vomiting.</p><p>“You idiot! Look at my clothes and shoes!” Gauche got really angry and shouted at him, but it seemed like Grey was near and tried to calm him down.</p><p>“P-please don’t b-be a-angry w-with Magna …” The young woman was as embarrassed as ever and began to stammer. “I’m s-sure he didn’t d-do t-that on p-purpose … S-so just bring him t-to his r-room while I clean up …! A-and I even wash y-your stuff later i-if y-you want …!”</p><p>“… Fine.” Grey was surprised but glad that Gauche agreed. “But just because Marie is in a very good mood today and I don’t want to ruin it with murder someone … This jerk can puke as much as he wants in his room.” He continued his way together with Magna who was done for now.</p><p>“Oh my …” Vanessa heard it all and felt even sorrier than before. She grabbed some stuff and decided to check on Magna after she helped Grey to clean up the mess.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was late in the next morning when Magna was about to wake up. He had a terrible headache and everything in his head was spinning. And his stomach … He had to get up at once and make it to the bathroom, but he felt so weak … His salvation turned out to be a bucket next to his bed. He had no clue where it came from all of a sudden, but it didn’t matter at the moment he grabbed it and throw up into it.</p><p>When he was done, Magna put the bucket down again with slightly shaky hands. He lay back in his bed and remembered the last evening … And was so embarrassed. Once again he made a fool of himself … As if his previous failure wasn’t bad enough. Everything got worse and Magna was sure to stay in his room the whole day, except for cleaning this bucket later and necessary things like something to eat. He didn’t want to face anyone.</p><p>Magna lay there for a while and tried to think about nothing when he turned to the side. Through the corner of his eyes he saw a bottle with some water and an empty glass. Magna was surprised once again, but was glad he had something to drink. At least he would finally get rid of that disgusting taste in his mouth.</p><p>He was about to put the water back when he noticed there was also a small piece of paper on the little desk. Magna took it curiously and unfolded it. He read the note, he was sure it was Vanessa’s handwriting. <em>Don’t dare to give up, you street punk! </em>Magna smiled at first, probably she was the one who brought these things in his room while he was asleep. But he began to feel bad again, he was sure he wasn’t very nice while being drunk … Yeah, they often nag on each other, but of course they were friends …</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“If he can’t get stronger just because of this … Then that means he was a guy around that level only.” </em>
</p><p>Magna frowned when he remembered these words … This was what Luck said about him to Asta. Of course Magna heard this while rushing away after failing to create some runes out of mana … He didn’t want to admit it, but he knew Luck was right. But it hurt so much deep inside …</p><p>Maybe … Luck didn’t need him. If he wasn’t strong enough, perhaps Luck would get bored of him. What if … Luck was glad he got rid of him …? No, that couldn’t be. They are in love with each other … And once again Magna frowned. He never told him <em>I love you</em> … And also Luck never told him these words.</p><p>“Dammit …” Magna was close to tears. What if Luck never loved him the same way he does? Was this all some game for him, just a way of passing the time? Did he really fool him …? Magna didn’t want to believe anything of this, but he got afraid. Afraid of losing him just because he wasn’t strong enough … He had to do something about it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was like Zora sensed something annoying could happen the next day … But nonetheless, he returned to the base. He and the rest of the Black Bulls had to prepare for this fight against the Spade Kingdom. It was what almost all Magic Knights had to get ready for, no matter if he liked it or not. That means it wouldn’t be that unnecessary to show up in front of his comrades from time to time. Only a moment, it’s enough if they notice he was there –</p><p>“Hey, Zora! Wait!”</p><p>“… Well, shit happens.” The redhead sighed in annoyance, but decided to listen what this delinquent wanted to say.</p><p>“I … ask you to train me.” Magna had to pull himself together when Zora began to laugh almost amused.</p><p>“Uh, are you serious? Why should I do that?”</p><p>“Because you’re a strong mage and I’m sure I can learn from you!” Zora raised an eyebrow by surprise when he heard that. “Ya know … We’re both peasants, but unlike me you were able to join the Royal Knights. So I … would be honored if ya could teach me.”</p><p>“At least you acknowledge my superiority,” the older mage began to tease him and observed Magna’s griming reaction. But then he began to be serious. “Well … To be honest, I never really trained together with anyone else. Right now I have no idea how to teach anyone … But your attribute is fire, right? My father had the same …”</p><p>“See? That’s perfect!” Magna wanted to do his best to convince him. “And I heard he was the first peasant that was accepted in a Magic Knights Squad. I’m sure you know how I can become stronger!”</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, if that really means so much to you …” Magna almost cheered when Zora got sentimental by the memories of his deceased father and agreed. But the man remembered that he had a reputation to lose. “And at least you should get a reward for that nerve ... Guess you remember our last talk a while ago?” Zora grinned triumphing while Magna frowned at once. He remembered that the tall mage might know about him and Luck … He gulped.</p><p>“Luck and I aren’t together … Not anymore, I guess.”</p><p>“Sure? What a shame, you are both really annoying and stupid ... So I thought you’re a good match.” Zora sighed when he noticed his surprised face. “Oh, come on. I’m not into stuff like this, but I have no problem with you guys being <em>that close</em>. I’m not like these intolerant bastards … Let’s say I just want to be sure you don’t want to train just because of your boyfriend.”</p><p> </p><p>“… But it’s true he’s a reason of it.” Magna tried not to think about their insecure relationship. “We’re rivals since the very beginning … Of course I want to be able to keep up with him … An’ for that I’ve to become stronger!” He clenched his fists. “I’ll prove it wasn’t a mistake I’ve become a Magic Knight … An’ I also want to fight against this Spade Kingdom to protect everyone!”</p><p>“Well, at least you’re determined … And reasonably honest with yourself. I’ve learned that’s not a bad thing a while ago … Be grateful to that idiot Asta, because I decided we will leave for training at once.”</p><p>“Really? Thanks, dude!” Magna was glad he didn’t offend Zora and began to write a note. “Just wait a moment, the others have to know …”</p><p>“Fine … But hurry up and get your stuff. I don’t have endless time.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Another day of training at the Heart Kingdom was over when Luck was sitting at the grass near a river and watched the sunset while creating some of these runes. Gaja said he’s doing great, but he should also rest … But Luck didn’t want to stop his magic. Every time he did, he had to think about <em>him</em>. He just needed this distraction …</p><p>Luck sighed, he knew it made no sense to run away from his own thoughts and feelings. Yeah, feelings … This stuff he often thought he didn’t need back then. Or didn’t even had … Luck stopped his magic and began to feel cold again. It was strange, because the setting sun should warm the area … It was almost like his heart was freezing. He pulled his legs closer to himself, hoping that would help.</p><p>Even if he was excited to learn all this new magic and becoming stronger … He really missed Magna. Luck was asking himself what he was doing right now … And was he angry with him? He didn’t know if his words were too direct, but he was sure there was no other way to help Magna … He just had to understand everyone had to become stronger no matter what. Even if they can’t do it together … This enemy was too strong … They all had to do their best to survive …</p><p>Luck frowned and tried to forget this fear at once. He never wanted to imagine anyone of his friends could die against the Spade Kingdom … He was afraid Magna could die.</p><p> </p><p>Luck didn’t think Magna was a weakling, this wasn’t the problem. Even if he finished him off most times … Luck just knew Magna was capable of much more. Magna just had to find a way to receive that power … Even if Luck couldn’t be by his side.</p><p>Luck was sure he was right. It was like he could sense there was more potential in Magna when they first met … And not only that. Magna was his best friend, the first one he ever had in his whole life. He and the rest of the Black Bulls made his life so much better, and also being able to understand his own feelings. Like his true life began with them, and they were his true family …</p><p>Luck didn’t want to be ungrateful to his mother, after all she took care of him until she died. He loved her, even when she hit him in her anger and desperation … He often believed it was his own fault. He hated his own smile and his failure to stop it when he was a child. He didn’t even know <em>why </em>he always smiled and why he wasn’t able to stop … And was sure it was a bad thing. If it weren’t for that, his mother wouldn’t hate him so much …</p><p>Luck frowned once again, he wanted to believe she loved him anyway in some way. At least she had been proud, and maybe happy, when his talent for combat has shown. Sometimes he believed his only talents were fighting and his large amount of mana … And like he was failure at everything most normal people were good at. He was only there for fighting, he only lived for his mother …</p><p> </p><p>But these times were in the past. Luck knew today there was so much more to live for, that he wasn’t just an empty shell, but a person with feelings like everyone else. Even if he wasn’t able to show them the way he maybe should … Of course it was always fun to tease Magna, but if he was honest with himself he wanted his attention, too. It was so special to him to have a friend at his age that wasn’t afraid of him and his constant smiling. <em>He </em>was special to him … Luck just wished he had realized his love for him a little bit earlier.</p><p>He remembered how afraid he was when his emotions overwhelmed him and he had kissed Magna. It felt so right, but he was so afraid he and also the other Black Bulls would hate him for that … Luck was so happy when Magna seemed to feel the same and promised this will be their secret. Of course it was difficult to hide it in front of the other ones … But Luck couldn’t remember being happier in his life ever. And hoped this wouldn’t change when this fight against the Spade Kingdom was over. But what if Magna didn’t want to be with him anymore …?</p><p> </p><p>“Luck!” The blonde turned around by surprise and saw Asta was waving his arms. “Charmy said she wants to try some new cooking with the help of runes! I bet you want to try something, too!” Noelle, Nero and Finral were with him and they all waited for Luck.</p><p>“Alright!” He stood up and his smile was more like a real one again. He made his way to his friends and tried to stay confident. Luck was sure Magna was alright and would understand him. Luck also believed in him and just knew he would gain some new magic and become stronger. He was excited and looking forward to it … And hoped he could show Magna his love in a better way when this war was over.</p>
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